Two Monday

"It can all start again,"the voice in her head said, "just wait until Monday. Then you can be happy. I'll make you all better. I'll take away the pin that you're feeling and the hurt. The longing ache in your heart will go as you and I strive for success. Monday. Then you'll be truly happy. No more hurting. No more lying. No more hiding inside your head. Monday."

So many tricks she'd learnt from last time clouded her thoughts. She knew how to fool people amd how to make them believe things were how they used to be. She could be smart about it now. So smart. All the other distractions in these peoples lives would mean that her plan would be so small and insignificant. Nobody would know. She could deceive them all. It knew how to and she had the strength and others trust now. They wouldn't realise what had hit them until it was too late. A smile grew across her face and her eyes sparkled.

She knew that she was a bad person. The stupidity that followed her and the embarrassment she created for herself. She was horrible. Such a bad person to deceiver all these people after they had invested so much into her. To throw it all back into their faces. But it would be fine. They'd probably dump her and leave her within a month or so. New starts for everyone meant some people got left behind. New people, new slate. New friends, new relationships. The old relationship would fizzle out as one half would be secretly looking around. Boredom: that was it. Out with the old and in with the new. They both knew that. Good-bye to the friendship and relationships. But with what she was planing, she knew that she deserved to be punished. And it would begin on Monday.

She swallowed back the tears and her own hatred for herself. She hated how much of a bad person she was. She hated the things she did and said. She hated everything about herself, But it would all be better on Monday. The red would turn to turquoise. Monday.

But that new Monday would be the start of the end. It kept telling her that. This time she couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes. It was good-bye to her most important principle and hello to being alone as the most important people, or person rather, moved on with their life as she stayed stuck in the rut looking for happiness and clinging desperately to the last strings of hope and happiness she had left. Monday, it was the beginning of change.

"I'll make you all better," the voice whispered in her ear. It was like a duvet. Such a comfort. Such a relief. Genderless and colourless. There was nothing to it. But yet it was so real. It was a part of her and she knew it. She had suppressed it for so long. Planned the whole thing out. Waited and waited, biding her time to let the voice back out, She knew that it was a sick and twisted part of her. The part of her that strived for the perfect imperfection. The rewarding punishment. The depressive joy. It was her oxymoron that nobody else had. Her Monday turning good.

"Monday," the voice cooed. "Monday."

After all, she knew every genius had a dark side. She had just accepted hers.